Chapter Seven: The Lord's Prayer

I hate myself, and have totally gave up on such an idea as a God. Father left, I knew it was coming, and I knew it was going to happen. That was such a horrible day, a day I have up all hope, he just walked in, reaking of booze, took his bag, and told me "he couldn't take it anymore." He couldn't take it?! He was doing nothing, I was the one who suffered. Then I started the fifth grade, and Aggie was in my class. When we were on our field trip to the ship, she told me to jump... that it was the only way. I thought about it, I just wanted to die. Mother had won. I stopped caring then. I mouth off to my brothers, which resulted in a stomping from them, and left food over on the plates. I didn't care, and I wanted mother to know that. Mother had lied to me, telling me that I kicked her so hard that I hurt the baby. I loved Kevin though, he was beautiful. She would lie to others, telling them I was afraid of the baby, or that she had tried to hug me and I kicked her. I hated that bitch.

Chapter Six: While Father Is Away

I hate them all, mother and my brothers. I don't know why she only beat me, and not them, and she would just think of new things to do to me. I would have to lay in the bath tub, in ice cold water. Brother's friends would come in and ask, "What did he do this time?" I hate them. I had a subsititute teacher, she was very nice and I liked her a lot. She had told the nurse about me, and oh how I loved the nurse. I trusted her, and I even started to tell her ab0ut mother. Father use to help me do the chorse and feed me, but then he stopped. Mother, that little bitch, controlled everyone. I knew he was no superman. Mother got a new friend after the baby was born. Shirley was her name. She was nice, and made me feel a little bit safer. After mother and Shirely stopped being friends, mother was nice to me again. I couldn't belive it, I knew it was too good to be true. That's when the lady came, to check up on mother. I had said the wrong thing, but I was glad. I knew mother didn't really love me. It was all just a fake.

Chapter Five: The Accident

I hated summer. I had no way of eating. I was lucky if I got to eat once every three days. The little boy, Mother's child, turned into an evil nazi. Even though I knew it wasn't is fault entirely, I hate him as much as I hated mother. She didn't mean to, but she accidently stabbed me in the stomach. It hurt so bad, but it gave me hope. Mother let me go outside and play with the other kids, and they accepted me. But it made em realize I hate father. He wasn't superman at all, he only cared about himself. But I knew that I was Superman. I had helped myself, I didn't need mother to clean my wound, I did it myself. I was Superman.

Chapter Four: The Fight For Food

I lived for school, it was my only escape. I got new clothes and a new lunch box. I was so excited. Mother made me wear the same clothes day after day. Kids game me weird looks - I was dirty. Mother stopped feeding me. I never got dinner, because I never did the chores in time. I just wanted to eat. I started stealing, these kids didn't need their food - I did. Mother just kept finding out my secrets and punishing me. I started going to the grocery store, the first time, I stole a whole entire thing of grahm crackers. It soon ended also. We went to the Russian River. I use to love that place, and now I hate it. Why would mother ever make me eat nasty shit off of diapers. Father doesn't even care anymore. I try so hard to be good. But all I wanted was some food.

Chapter Three: Bad Boy

I began to hate mother. Father, he tried to warn me, telling me to "be a good boy." At the same time, I just wanted to be with mother and please her. Like the one summer when she dropped me off at Aunt Josie's home; I had tried to run away. That was the wrong thing to do. No matter what I tried to say to mother she just keep punching and beating me. Kids would come over who were in her Cub Scout, telling me that they wished their mothers were just like mine, I could even respond to that. They had no idea was mother did. Then the day came when I beat mother, when I won. She was out to kill, swearing at me that I made her life a living hell. As soon as she turned that gas stove on I knew I had to do something, anything, to stay alive. She started bashing in my head - but that was ok! It's what I wanted, anything besides that. I had won. She would yell at me, telling me I was a "bad boy." I just wanted the bad times to go away... i wanted to bury them.

Chapter Two: Good Times

Sometimes I think back to the good times, before all the beatings and father leaving, before I was a bad boy. We were like a modern day "Brady Brunch" some would say. Dad would call me Tiger, and we always had fun times that I remember together. I miss those days, back when mother would make delicious, exotic meals for us. Dad was a fireman, so during the days mother would take on trips like to Chinatown or the Golden Gate Park. Then when the holidays came, mother would go all out! Right after Thanksgiving was when Christmas decorations went up. I miss all the good times... before everything happened.

Chapter One: The Rescue

I'm free? What does that mean? I couldn't believe it. It had started out like any other normal day, I was late doing my chores and mother was mad. She had smacked me around but I stood there and took the hit. That's always the worst thing to do though. She let me have some of my brother's left over breakfast, it was Lucky Charms. I do not know why mother punishes me so; I try so hard to be a good boy. Mother had bashed my head into the tile counter top, she told me to the them it was "just an accident." I love school. It was my chance to get away from Mother. But at the same time I hated it, when I walked into the room the other kids would cover their noses and hiss at me, if only they knew though. I thought I was going to jail that day. Mr. Hansen had called the cops on me, they knew I was a bad boy. But then the police officer took me away from the school, and told me that I was free.